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Are you an Elder Scroll? Because looking at you drives me cr..

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Are you an Elder Scroll? Because looking at you drives me crazy!

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Hey baby, can my patrol enter your Hidden Valley?

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Hey baby, can my patrol enter your Hidden Valley?

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Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who..

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Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

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They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as ru..

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They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?

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Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe.

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Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe.

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Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds ..

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Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet. πŸ˜‰

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Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

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Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

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Wanna go Pokemon hunting tonight? Because I wanna catch a pi..

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Wanna go Pokemon hunting tonight? Because I wanna catch a pikachu (peek-at-chu)!

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What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you i..

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What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me. πŸ₯΅

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The strength to stand alone, Aloy, is the strength to make a..

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The strength to stand alone, Aloy, is the strength to make a stand. To serve a purpose greater than yourself. That is the lesson you must learn.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you brea..

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

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You seem to be traveling at the speed of light, because time..

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You seem to be traveling at the speed of light, because time always seems to stop when I look at you.

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Are you the door to Vault 101? Because you showed me a whole..

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Are you the door to Vault 101? Because you showed me a whole new world

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Are you a member of the Thieves Guild, because you stole my ..

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Are you a member of the Thieves Guild, because you stole my heart. πŸ’•

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What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A sati..

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What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

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Jinkies Fred, I didn't see you there 😌

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Jinkies Fred, I didn't see you there 😌

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Just being my Soul Self

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Just being my Soul Self

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Behind the mask 😷

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Behind the mask 😷

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Roses are red, violets are blue. If you were a Pokemon, I'd ..

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Roses are red, violets are blue. If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you

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Peachy keen πŸ‘‘

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Peachy keen πŸ‘‘

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Are u with the dark brotherhood? Because, baby, I never saw ..

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Are u with the dark brotherhood? Because, baby, I never saw you coming.

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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong ...

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If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong ...

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"Survival requires perfection."

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"Survival requires perfection."

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What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"? Abou..

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What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"? About three inches.

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I wish I was your coronary artery so that I could be wrapped..

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I wish I was your coronary artery so that I could be wrapped around your heart. ❀️

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